|
|
NOVEMBER - UC month! not. (cruel length)| |   
Probably the most monumental month of the year. You all know what I'm talking about: the presidential election which made HISTORY. I still can't believe Barack is our president, and while I'm still not an avid follower of politics in the least, whenever I hear the "Barack administration" or "president Obama" I get this rush of something in my heart and I feel safer, even though I can't put my finger on exactly why.
I just have to say that while watching his speech after the ballots had been counted, his supporters shiny-eyed from happiness, there was still a page open on my computer that said "52% yes, 48% no" on prop 8, and the numbers were awfully stubborn, so that even the next day the Yes vote was still ahead. So as the next president of the United States said on the evening of November 4th: "If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer..." tears couldn't help but come. Much to my disbelief, shock, bitter angriness, and most of all remorse, at the end of the next day, it stood at 97% yes, 95% no. To the weeks, even months leading up to the election, I'd tried to imagine what I would do if the prop to take people's rights away and treat the LGBT community as lesser people actually passed. Nothing came, though, except this inner feeling of total doom and an angry cry, "WHY?" But it stopped there. I set up this block that that wouldn't be possible, it'd be too horrible to be true. And then the worst happened.
The best thing though, is how we reacted to the passing of Prop 8. How we took it as a beginning to a new fight, a new movement. It gave me so much to look forward to, instead of dwelling on what we lost. It amazes me, how strong people are.
  
That takes care of highlights up till November 5th, and now onto the list form. Will only elaborate on what inspires me.
-Just kidding! (Bad planning on my part.) BEFORE the election business, I went to a concert of one of my favorite artists of all time: Jason Mraz. While other music obsessions have come and gone, his is still alive and growing. The concert, however short compared to the two hour opening, was breath-taking, as in it literally took my breath away (excuse my horrible writing) but really, it was indescribable. I don't have any pictures or audio recordings as documentations of the evening, because this guy named Bill took the battery of my Nikon, his reason being that they didn't allow removable lenses. He was old, had that layered type skin around his chin and promised to be there at the end of the concert for me to retrieve my expensive battery. I fumed for a while, actually throughout the entire concert, because I still had the camera, just no battery so it was a useless black THING that I had to carry around with me. When Jason finally came out on stage I was shaking with excitement. Every single note was spot on, his velvet, completely pure voice (both spoken and sung) was utmost pleasure to my ears, to my entire body actually. Like therapy. He made me live outside of myself for a while as I did things I never do. I sang, I danced, I screamed with joy and appreciation. I have written about this concert on many occasions. Hurried ramblings to online friends, a personal note to Mr. A-Z himself, even a little thing on my Wordpress. One thing I mentioned in all was that he made me feel invincible. He really did sound better live than on his CDs, which will never cease to fascinate me. We were sitting on the stairs, far away from the stage and the booming speakers. But on a few songs, I couldn't help myself and went down to the area where the screaming and ear-damaging goes on. When he sang I'm Yours, I raced down the steps and ran to the side where I could see Jason between a speaker and a tall metal contraption on the stage I don't know the name of. I raised myself on my tiptoes and back down to the beat of the music, singig softly at first. Not long after, I was singing loudly, fully, and badly, though I have to say better than the drunk girls next to me who didn't even know what verse he was on. I sang with Jason, the spirit of the evening lifting me out of myself, again, as I noticed a man behind me was singing me. He was singing Jason's part, and I instinctively sang a third higher, Toca's part, and neither of us missed a word, except when the overwhelming beauty and emotion overtook me and I had to take a deep breath. I was having my own little duet with this guy and I smiled stupidly throughout. He probably didn't hear me though, but it was fun all the same. What a dream come true. Jason Mraz probably ten feet away...I could go on forever. "This is a beautiful life no matter what kind of beautiful mess you make it." -Mraz. I went home that night with Gloria and Tammy, who I experienced the amazing concert with, and the next day I wore the shirt, couldn't help looking down at the Polaroid camera with his name in the corner ann thinking "Jason Mraz is close to my heart" like the proud fangirl I am. I think it every time I wear the shirt.
-Nov 8th: PACO concert: one of the orchestra concerts I've enjoyed most ever since 6th grade. The reason? I got to play my favorite piece I heard two years ago at PACO camp: Tchaikovsky Souvenir de Florence. The first time we played through it less than shoddily at rehearsal, I couldn't help putting my violin down and just laughing, how slowly we were playing it with that swinging tempo, this amazing, bombastic piece that I'd grown to love so much. I was sad to part with it at the concert. And this was a rare case: the rest of the pieces weren't that bad either. Usually, the deal is there is one piece out of four that you like parts of. This time, all four pieces were more than enjoyable. Shostakovich, Tchaikovsky, Arensky, Andante (arranged by someone originally by Tchaikovsky)...best program ever. Filled with intense moments that are amazing to be a part of.
-Nov 10th: exposure to "illegal substances". Initially felt thrilled then a feeling, much more dominant, of violation took over. I felt sick with guilt and wanted to go home. I didn't calm down for a long time. This shows how painfully innocent I am. I sent Asher a frantic, long message on myspace which was a large overreaction. At least it got rid of my curiosity for good (or so I think...) you never know. I'll leave that little "event" alone.
-Nov. 15th: I went to SF to take street pictures for my photo project. This was just an idea before, something that I wanted to do. But as I was eating breakfast, (something I have the luxury to do on weekends) I heard that there'd be a nation-wide rally against Prop 8 taking place the next day. I desperately wanted to go, wanted to see what it'd be like to be part of something that huge and influential. Fortunately, my brother's girlfriend, Julia, was kind enough to take my sister and I, the hidden intent being to go to the rally (and take pictures for the project). Dealing with the trains and other forms of public transportation took forever and by the time we got there, they had left City Hall. Though while on the Muni bus to the Civic Center, my heart was racing and I was getting butterflies, like the kind you get when you see someone you like, except these butterflies were huge and turned my stomach in every direction - that's how hyped up and stoked I was. I had longed to go to this type of event for a number of years now. The rest of the day walking around, hoping to run into the march. It was tiresome, but at around 4PM (we got there at 12) Julia saw the march, a huge mass of people with posters and signs doing their best to spread equality. I couldn't see it because a short person's view is severely constricted. We got closer though and suddenly we were in it, except we were going the opposite way from the march. We crossed the street, maneuvered in between cars that were trying to drive through the crowd. Many of them were showing support by honking, one guy made a peace sign with his fingers to show his support. And just like that, we joined the march. I was tired and extremely hungry, I didn't have anything to eat when we stopped at a Mediterranean deli because I was too excited at the possibility of catching up to the march that was going on somewhere in the city. I couldn't believe how many people there were, crowd after crowd after crowd. The front was a lot more boisterous, chanting 'What do we want? EQUALITY. When do we want it? NOW.' and "Gay, straight, black, white, marriage is a civil right." As the chantings petered out, toward the end of the first crowd, people just walked, hand in hand, holding huge signs, the one I remember right now said "This is an Obama nation, not an Abomination." Of course my chanting was subdued, barely audible, I still couldn't believe I was a part of this. I ran up ahead of Julia and Haleli when I saw the flash of the signature rainbow flag, people taking turns waving it back and forth. I love the flag and took as many pictures of it as I could, but my memory card kept on filling up so I don't have nearly as many as I want. It's beautiful, people standing up for what they believe in and REALLY making a difference. I mean, this was NATION-WIDE! I wanted to walk with them until dark but I felt bad for the other two who I'd left behind so eventually I backtracked and found them. We took a break and sat down, and I realized how tired I really was. However, it didn't take away anything from the pulsating pride and wonderful bewilderment coursing throughout my entire body. Again, my words do not do anything justice. It certainly left me speechless.
-Nov 19th: I went to Borders alone for the first time. you could say I have an irrational fear of driving alone to places I've never been to. I came home from school on a Wednesday, having just finished reading Catcher in the Rye with my English class. A girl named Alicia finished off the last page (we took turns reading the entire book in class) and just like that, we were done. No more Holden. I was devastated, now I had nothing to look forward to in English. Then this impulse in me decided that I needed a copy of my own to pore over countless times, underlining and writing my comments and smiley faces in the margins. I took my bag I got in Israel and filled it iwth the necessities: a notebook to write in (couldn't find my journal in this moment of excited franticness) my iPod, two pens, and my film camera. My heart palpitated and my body perspirated as I turned onto the unfamiliar streets, the setting sun blinding me through the windshield. Then, Borders came into view. I shakily parked the car and got out, proud that I was in the lines of the parking spot. I know these are laughable, petty, almost childish accomplishments but they were pretty huge for me and with each step I felt more and more grown-up. There, I said it. First finding the book in the Literature section, sitting and writing about what I was doing for almost an hour, buying the book and saying no thank you when asked for a bag, walking along University Avenue snapping pictures for my street photography photo project, and buying chocolate orange small gelato in a cup for $4.75. I didn't even want it, and shivered with each sweet gelato-spoonful, but it was all in good spirit. I eventually went to the car because it was too cold to be outside and got home, the feeling of accomplishment never weaning.
-Nov 20th-copied from my Wordpress that's a link by the way!: (this is when I was forced to walk home. Full story if you click the link). I had two books in my backpack: Grapes of Wrath - convoluted text, annoying dialogue, thick, with sharp corners on the edges of the cover. And Life After God - small, easy to carry, pages move fast because of the size, and the corners had the plastic covering that all library books have. I took the latter out and started walking while reading, self-consciously at first. But then I got into this element and I barely looked up the entire way home except when crossing streets. I didn’t care who saw me, I was completely engrossed in the narrator’s musings and ramblings and stories about his life and the lives of others.
-Nov 21st: first Serbian party, thanks to my friend. Not unlike Jewish gatherings. Loud, crowded, people of all ages from infancy to the elderly. Wine, too much food that comes in endless quantities, conversation, laughter, late into the night.
-Nov 22nd: finished the journal I started on June 17th. Another accomplishment!
-Nov 20something (I don't care enough to find the date): I turned in my UC apps.
-Nov 25th: Open mic. Great big celebration of talent. Nathan came back and hugged me, which was so unexpected and unbelievably delightful. I had major junior year flashbacks and was sad for a while afterwards. Bittersweet, torn inside.
-Nov 29th: I got to see Janet, who came back from COLLEGE! It's still unreal. I showed her and Milena some episodes of QAF and much to my delight, they liked it. It made me get that warm gooey feeling inside, however weird that is. You guys don't know how much it means to me when you "support" my obsessions.
-Nov 30th: I finally saw Twilight and the Cullen family took my breath away...especially some shots of Edward made me squeal all helplessly...it really is embarrassing but I don't care one bit. They did a great job with showing how beautiful and surreal the Cullens are. Though a bits were almost too cheesy to handle, it wasn't all that horrible like a lot of people said. Book over movie for sure, but I wouldn't mind seeing it again. Edward was almost perfect. I have forgotten the Edward in my imagination because he was never complete, but the one on screen wasn't too shabby. He was very good. Also, before PACO, I did something I never do: I sightread with college-level musicians. They made me, and I'm glad they did. Someone doubled up with me on the second violin part and we played the Brahms Sextet No. 1 in Bb Major, so pleasantly familiar, seeing as I had obsessed over it ever since I heard it at camp. Unfortunately I had to leave to go play my Beethoven quintet for Ben. Music overload, such bliss.
December...already. | | | Posted 12/1/2008 7:00 PM - 13 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
|
